All stick and no carrot, since ought-three.
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Wed, 08 Oct 2003
Just found this when going through some old email:
Stan: Why would God let Kenny die, Chef? Why? Kenny's my friend! Why can't God take someone else's friend?
Chef: Stan, sometimes God takes those closest to us, because it makes him feel better about himself. He's a very vengeful God, Stan. He's all pissed off about something we did thousands of years ago. He just can't get over it, so he doesn't care who he takes. Children, puppies, it don't matter to him—so long as it makes us sad. Do you understand?
Stan: But then, why does God give us anything to start with?
Chef: Well, look at it this way: if you want to make a baby cry, first you give it a lollipop. Then you take it away. If you never give it a lollipop to begin with, then you'ld have nothin' to cry about. That's like God, who gives us life and love and help just so that he can tear it all away and make us cry, so he can drink the sweet milk of our tears. You see, it's our tears, Stan, that give God his great power.
Stan: I think I understand.
Let Arnold arise, let his enemies be scattered: let them also that hate him flee before him.
As smoke is driven away, so drive them away: as wax melteth before the fire, so let the wicked perish at the presence of Arnold!
But let the righteous be glad; let them rejoice before Arnold: yea, let them exceedingly rejoice.
Sing unto Arnold, sing praises to his name: extol him that rideth upon the heavens by his name ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER, and rejoice before him.
A father of the fatherless, and a judge of the widows, is Arnold in his holy habitation.
What good is an obscenity trial except to popularize literature? -- Nero Wolfe, "The League of Frightened Men"